Winter solstice wishes

Winter solstice wishes

Courtney Nelson
Happily Hitched in the Last Frontier

Courtney Nelson
I'm writing this on the ferry from Sitka, on the winter solstice, a point in time during which we as individuals and communities reflect on our life, and hope for the rebirth of our light.

My family spent the last week memorializing my brother-in-law who died young and unexpectedly. He lived his life in Sitka, among his family, friends and the fishermen of Southeast Alaska. He reflected a life lived in a community.

There is nothing like an untimely death to make one review one's own life. Who would come to my funeral and what would they say about me? Will I die living my life and living my potential, or will I die wanting or waiting for some other life? Will I have met my soul mate?

In November, MSNBC listed the top 10 places in the world to "hook up." Juneau was No. 4 behind Amsterdam, Buenos Aires and a cruise at sea, but ahead of Las Vegas. I love Juneau, but I must admit that's a head scratcher.

I've partied in Las Vegas, and Juneau on the solstice, sliding around in the twilight, bundled in polar fleece and rain boots is no Las Vegas. But like those other cities, Juneau is extreme. That part is true. I suppose we're even like a cruise ship in our isolation.

Juneau has extreme weather cycles and it's expensive to live here. But it's also one of the most beautiful cities in the country. Our quality of life is unique and undeniably good. But living up here, away from "civilization," seems to trigger a massive case of the grass-is-always-greener in us.

Twenty to 30-year-olds are disappearing like Steller sea lions. Alaskans ping-pong back and forth between the Lower 48 and Juneau. They breezily say goodbye as they head for the excitement of commuting at a crawl past endless strip malls and anonymity. But when they realize that their only experience of nature is the picture they put on their iPod, they bounce back.

There are pros and cons to living any place on Earth. Juneau is small, you are visible, and people really know you - the good and the bad. It can be messy and tedious. You have to learn to get along because you belong somewhere. But because Juneau is small, you can make a difference.

In Juneau you don't have to dedicate a whole weekend in death-defying traffic to get in a few ski runs. You can slide over to Eaglecrest or go ice-skating, in a matter of minutes.

We have waterfalls, glaciers, Eagle Beach, Sandy Beach and False Outer Point. We have bonfires, beer and Frisbee dogs. We have nightlife and wildlife, as well as biking, hiking and good theater. We have high speed Internet. We even have an airport with big planes that can carry you out for a few weeks when you think you can't take it anymore.

So my solstice wishes for all of us are old clichés: that we live each day in pursuit of the things that matter to us; that we are content right where we are; that we do the work we love; that the people we love know it; that we all do as John Mayer says, and say what we need to say; and that the returning light brings peace.

And since this is a dating column, I hope you remember that you live in the No. 4 hook-up spot in the world and ask that person out. What are you waiting for?

STOP THE WAR

Writing this dating column has been difficult for me lately. There’s a continuing situation that makes it hard for me to care if anyone is dating or mating: War.
People are dying while we drink, dine, and obsess about our relationships, or lack of relationships. Both sides are losing their partners and future partners, their parents and children, their eyes and ears, their limbs and sanity. Homes are being leveled, towns and villages destroyed. Both literally by bombs in Iraq and Afghanistan, and figuratively here by loss of life and lucre. We are told it is all done to protect us, to keep us safe. So we can drink, dine, and obsess endlessly about our relationships?
Many service people will come back changed, traumatized by the horrors they’ve experienced, by what they have been required to do. Many marriages will end due to the long separations and constant deployments. If we think we’ve got it bad, people in Iraq are having generations wiped out, men, women and children. This is the sober reality.
I moved here from Los Angeles, a melting pot of different cultures. I have friends from Iraq, and our next target, Iran. My ex-husband is from Syria. There was a time when I was immersed in the language, food, dance and customs of the Middle East. My best friends are belly dancers. They are real people to me. They have hopes and dreams, and dating problems too.
Three days a week I study war. We watch films of war footage, testimony of returned soldiers. If I’m not in class, I’m reading and writing about war. They’re all basically the same, just the faces and places change. I don’t know about you, but the ongoing war is battering my psyche, gaining momentum with each death, and with each billion dollars we spend. I’ve rationalized not writing my concerns by saying a dating column is helping people make love, not war. This justification no longer works for me.
If you believe as I do, that we are all connected and that all humans deserve the chance to love and be loved, then you can’t be passive and apathetic right now. I know it’s a buzz kill, but it needs to be talked about. And what better time to talk about it than in the beginning of a relationship. Afterall, what is the future of a new relationship started now? We’re spending all our money on the war and our economy is tanking. What kind of sunset is new love going to ride off into?
Whether you agree with the cause or not, I think we can all agree that we want the killing to stop. We want our hemorrhaging economy saved. Here’s an idea.
Next time you go on a date with someone, while you’re drinking and dining, discuss ways that you would end the conflict in Iraq if you were a leader. This discussion will probably reveal all you need to know about the person sitting across from you. It might even spark an idea that is actually useful, then you can send it in. Starting a relationship, starting a family, requires the ability to solve problems together. Put your heads together instead of your bodies and see what happens. In the name of life and love, let’s end this thing.
When the war is over, life and love will taste sweeter knowing arms are circling instead of shooting.

Introduction

I aspire to write and create films to promote positive social change that honor and embrace diversity.
My road so far..

• Gymnastics and swim instructor YMCA
  
• Canter's bakery worker
  
• Founded "Cellularwaves" and "Cellular Moves" phone companies with Jackie
  
• Los Angeles party host helper
• VW salesperson
• Stunt double for Dolly Parton Straight Talk
  
• Assistant to Wayne Fitzgerald
• Flight crew coordinator Spacecam
• Computer services at the Screen Actors Guild
• ISM Western Regional sales manager
• Assistant to Dolphina
• Marketing coordinator Alaskan Brewing Company
• Sports reporter/ sports page editor Juneau Empire
• Roughhouse Boxing correspondent story 1, story 2, story 3
• Writer/columnist Hooligan
  

I've produced several independent productions.

• The Beauty Project
• Urban Runoff in the Santa Monica Bay
• Juneau Recycles

Dating column

Here is a page dedicated to my published articles links. Writing these has been like a little merry-go-round. Fun yet nauseating. In looking back at them, I seem to be improving slightly with each column. I'll be posting my sports ones as well eventually.

Enjoy