Rapper Luckyiam makes first trip to Juneau

By Courtney Nelson | For the Juneau Empire

Rap and hip-hop artist Luckyiam, gearing up to visit Juneau for the first time this weekend, wants to give you a present. The musician, who performs at the Rendezvous Friday night starting at 9 p.m., has made a mix tape called "The Present," available for free download at his Web site: www.legendarymusic.net/thepresent/.

The art that accompanies this mix tape features Luckyiam making what looks like a gang sign, but it actually symbolizes Living Legends, a group of rappers that performed together for years. Collectively they have officially sold over 200,000 copies of their albums, an estimate that Luckyiam says is very conservative.

"It doesn't count all the bootlegged copies which would put the number closer to 500,000," he said.

Luckyiam said his many musical influences include Stevie Wonder, Pink Floyd, Queen, Freestyle Fellowship, L.L. Kool J and The Outkasts.

His music isn't traditional rap, he said, but is infused with other styles.

"I'm a public speaker who just happens to have music playing in the background," he said.

Luckyiam has performed with The Grouch and other Living Legends in Anchorage and Girdwood but for this trip he'll be performing solo. He said the Juneau plan was hatched through the networking tool Twitter.

"Good things happen through Twitter," Luckyiam said, explaining that his friend Josh Boots twittered while he was performing at the Hanger last month.

"Josh Boots was hollering at me through Twitter to do a track, and we got to talking and then he said he was doing a show up there," he said.

Luckyiam hadn't done a show in Alaska in a while and said he'd had a great time in Anchorage and Girdwood, so it got him thinking.

"Then Will (Muldoon) saw the conversation, and another one of my boys heard me and he was like... 'Hey, I can get you up here,'" he said, speaking from his home in South Central Los Angeles.

He said he is looking forward to visiting Juneau.

"I've been a whole lotta places in my time and it's exciting to go somewhere that you've never been, ever... I'm running out of those places."

Countries he's visited include England, Belgium, Germany, Spain, France, Norway and the French Riviera.

Luckyiam will be bringing his 10-month-old pitbull on the trip and said he's hoping to see some eagles while he's in town.

Tickets to his show are available at Aurora Projekt and the Rendezvous for $10, or $15 at the door. Juneau's own Sea Life w/ DJ Judo will open the show.

• Contact Courtney nelson at nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net">nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net

The glass is already broken

Columnist discusses thoughts on letting go

By Courtney Nelson | Straight Talk

Mark Epstein tells a story about a Zen master who holds up a glass knowing it's already broken. He enjoys the glass, drinks from it, sees it reflect the sun in different patterns and taps it to make a nice sound. But when it breaks and he understands the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.

No one can deny that Americans have a hard time letting go, and it costs us. We fill up our houses, then storage units, and insure our stuff in case it's broken or stolen. This physical stuff throws us off balance, weighs on our psyches and manifests in insomnia, obesity, stress, sickness, disconnection or all of the above.

Prescription drugs will cure us of the stress of ownership we're told, and commercials are filled with images of life with pills. Wearing white clothes, we'll float on butterflies out of our bedroom windows as we fall asleep with Melatonin. Armed with Viagara we'll take sunny boat rides to private island cabanas with dream partners, found on match.com.

Beside taking a pill to chill, we're told the cure for our consumer hangovers is more consuming and dumping, which isn't working according to Annie Leonard, who produced "Story of Stuff." She writes about the effects of consumerism saying her "goal is to make the invisible visible and have people think more comprehensively about life."

Taking a more holistic approach to understanding our need to buy things and hold on to them reveals that we already have what we need - we just can't see it under all the garbage. Since all action originates in the invisible world of thought, the logical place to begin a cleansing of the material world is in the mind.

MIND OVER MATTER

Right now, 4 million pounds of space debris is orbiting the Earth, threatening satellites, communication and the lives of our astronauts. Our minds also have ominous debris floating around. Eighties song refrains, Smurf snippits, car accidents, vacations, fear of bungee jumping, traumatic memories, faces and places swirl in my head threatening to crash and re-surface during a board meeting.

While memories are important, certain ones can keep us attached to unhealthy emotions and energy from our past, so we need to let them go.

Some say the first step is to take an inventory. Through meditation we can observe our thoughts then acknowledge and release them, freeing ourselves to move forward to our full potential.

Sitting quietly as an impartial observer during meditation allows one to watch thoughts arise and pass away without interference. A first meditation session might go something like this. "OK, I am observing my mind, sitting quietly ... wow, I need to vacuum under the couch ... OK, I'm observing my thoughts ... my feet are cold ... focus, focus ... did I get Aunt Lola a birthday present? ... where is the vacuum? ... do I smell mold? Is that rain I hear?"

OK, there's no denying meditating is hard, but with practice I'm told it gets easier.

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a 37-year-old Harvard-educated brain surgeon, wrote a book called "A Stroke of Insight" - after she had a stroke that silenced her left hemisphere, the source of all this brain chatter. She discovered that the right hemisphere is complete bliss without language and other analytical skills. She describes it as Nirvana. Accessing it can improve quality of life.

The closest I ever came to Nirvana came from a surprising source - a gong. One sunny afternoon in Venice Beach, Calif., a healer named Laura played a gi-normous Zlidjian gong for my friends and I for about an hour.

Lying comfortably on a rug, my monkey mind jumped all over the place while she struck the gong. After a while my mind quieted, and I floated into a prescription drug commercial. Clouds were moving in fast forward, swirling in front of spectacular blue skies, I flew over large deserts and oceans, catching glimpses of my yoga instructors in warrior poses on breathtaking cliffs.

I was hooked. After buying my own gong, I begged people to gong for me while I took a quick trip to Nirvana. No one could gong more than 10 minutes before they grew bored and started talking. Now my Nirvana vessel is sitting dusty on my piano. Guess I'll settle by watching a music video.

As Folk Festival wraps up today, we've had a week of right-brain-filled moments. Guy Davis took us away to a happy place filled with chocolate kisses from the chocolate man and then brought us to our feet in standing ovation. We were united in our love of great music; these are priceless moments that can't be bought.

So stop worrying about your physical stuff. The glass is already broken, the shirt is already stained, the house has already burned down, your car is already wrecked. Just enjoy what you have, and if you like to strike a gong, please contact me.

• Courtney Nelson is a Juneau resident. She can be reached at nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net">nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net.

Friday night fights

Solomon victorious; MMA fights get crowd going strong

By Courtney Nelson | For the Juneau Empire

The fights were evenly divided with three boxing matches and three MMA fights Friday night at Roughhouse Boxing at Marlintini's Lounge.

Anchorage's Jesse "The Roofer" Solomon, 28, hailing from Hawaii and weighing in at 190 pounds, brought his record to 47-5-1 with his boxing win over Ketchikan's Gabe "The Truth" Duckworth, 27, weighing 276 pounds, in the main event.

Solomon's strategy going in was to, "Stay tight, bend my knees and watch out for bombs," he said. Solomon fought Duckworth two times before winning by split decision.

Solomon says boxing keeps him healthy and out of trouble, as long as he doesn't get hit in the head.

"The art of boxing is to hit and not get hit, so you're doing something wrong if you're getting hit all the time, especially after nine years," he said before the fight.

Both boxers were evenly matched through the first round despite the 86-pound weight difference. They got tangled up a few times with Duckworth's reach catching Solomon under his arm after a swinging blow.

In round two there were repeated breaks when boxers got tangled and fatigued. Solomon boxed out when Duckworth had him against the ropes, but Solomon hung on for the win.

In an MMA fight featuring two first-time fighters, Petersburg's Craig Weimer, 21, an Army soldier, defeated Domino's employee and Juneau resident Brian James Samaniego-Howard, 19, by forcing Samaniego-Howard to tap out.

"This is my first official fight ever and it feels good because I won," said Weimer.

He also said he had a shaky start when he started throwing wide. But Weimer said he went back to what he knew - wrestling.

Early in the first round, Weimer, who wrestled from third to ninth grade in Petersburg, and Samaniego-Howard went to the mat, but they went out of bounds and referee Joe Isturis broke them up.

Weimer got Samaniego-Howard in a behind-the-back choke hold and the fight was over before the end of round one.

Sitka's Eric Moy, 18, brought his record to 2-1-0 with his win over Steven Roberts, 19, hailing from Klawock, who was fighting his first boxing match.

Moy, a wrestler and football player in high school, came out with boxing gloves and in an obvious mix-up as Roberts showed up with MMA gloves.

Roberts agreed to box for the first time even though he admits he would have trained more had he known he was going to box.

"They didn't tell me that we were boxing," said Roberts, who had sparred with his brother before.

Moy agreed the outcome would have been different if they'd fought MMA.

"He hit me pretty hard, I wasn't really expecting that," said Moy after the bout. "He did better than I did my first time boxing - he hit me right in the stomach and I figured he would have gone straight for my face as a first-time-boxer."

In the first round Roberts was making wide, wild swings to tag Moy, who answered by finding the opening to Roberts' head.

Early in round two Moy exploded, tagging Roberts multiple times and getting him against the ropes. At that point, the two appeared gassed.

During the third round boxers were even, then Moy recovered from a low blow and pummeled Roberts with some hard shots to grab the win by split decision.

Hoonah's Eric Larson, 21, brought his record to 3-5-0 with his win over fellow heavyweight, Klawock's James "The Beast" Roberts Jr., 24, weighing 323 pounds, in a match that left Roberts hearing-impaired.

Roberts was aggressive from the bell, but left his head open to some hard shots from Larson who seemed unphased by the heavy-leather Roberts delivered.

Larson tagged Roberts and bloodied his nose repeatedly, but "The Beast" persevered. Larson found renewed energy and attacked Roberts with a barrage of hard blows, issuing him a standing eight count before Roberts could answer with a huge left.

Larson out-tagged Roberts to grab the win.

"It's all play time for me," said Larson after the win. "He hits hard - he dazed me a couple times."

"I can't remember much and I can't hear out of one ear," said Roberts after the bout. "He must have hit me pretty hard because I can't remember much right now, but it was a pretty good fight," said Roberts, who will match up against Larson in the showdown next month.

Charlie Gallant, 20, weighing in at 210 pounds, defeated Costco worker, 202-pound Lee Finau, 21, hailing from California, bringing Gallant's record to 30-3-0.

In round one, Finau got the first punch in and Gallant answered with a pummeling that left Finau on the ground after both boxers got off balanced and slipped. Finau recovered, getting Gallant against the ropes and using him as punching bag until the bell.

Both boxers were gassed early in round two after a flurry of fists from each.

During round three Gallant was more aggressive, but both were injured when they fell to the floor, both boxers sucking air to the end.

"I tested him out the first round, took a wide stance and hit him as hard as I could. Then he hit me and we both got tired," said Gallant, who said his arms and legs were really tired by the end of the second round.

Alaskan Brewing Company employee Henry Dehling, 24, brought his record to 6-4-1 with his MMA win over a first-time fighter, Chicago's Eric Nygren, 32, by tap out 50 seconds into round three.

Nygren kicked repeatedly, and Dehling got him to the mat where Nygren locked Dehling's head with his legs, but Dehling spun out. Fighters then traded choke holds to the bell.

In round two, after delivering a spinning, jumping high-kick followed by hard tags to the head, Dehling took down Nygren where they traded power positions to the bell.

Dehlig took Nygren to the mat early in round three, got him in a choke hold and started to twist his back until he tapped out. Dehlig injured his left hand in the bout.

The Southeast Showdown will be held May 7th.

Fight Card

Craig Weimer defeats Brian

Howard

Eric Moy defeats Steven

Roberts

Eric Larson defeats James

"The Beast" Roberts Jr.

Charlie Gallant defeats Lee

Finau

Henry Dehling defeats Eric

Nygren

Jesse "The Roofer" Solomon

defeats Gabe "The Truth"

Duckworth

Money matters

Searching for a heart of gold

By Courtney Nelson | For the Juneau Empire

The Alaska gold rush got people bustling with energy and dreaming of life with gold. People were willing to gamble their lives for a taste of the good life.

I didn't come to Juneau in search of gold, but I've been doing a money dance for years. I've earned it, raised it, borrowed it, repaid it, saved it, blown it, invested it, had it stolen, won it, lost it, found it, been swindled and conned, and I'm still confused about money. And if we save a pot of gold, do we suffer worrying about it? Here are some ideas I've heard about money.

"The more you give away the more you get back"

Doesn't everybody have to generously give for this to work? It seems some people are generous while others squirrel it away. Alaska USA bank tellers in Juneau said they've noticed there are savers and spenders, and rarely people in between. Both bankers said they were spenders with one exclaiming, "The more I make, the more I spend," because she can't take it with her.

"Carpe Diem"

The poet Horace once said "Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the unknowable future, instead one should scale back one's hopes to a brief future, and drink one's wine."

This was true for comedian Sam Kinison, who walked into a restaurant in Hollywood where I worked and enjoyed handing out hundred-dollar bills. A year later he got hit by a truck.

Seizing the day didn't work for my seamstress in L.A. He/she was a midget-transvestite ex-showgirl with romantic ties to a famous mobster. He once enjoyed four-star hotels, private jets and sequins and jewels. Now in his 80s, his mobster is behind bars, and he's struggling to pay rent and support his dog. His thick Spanish accent would rasp at me over the phone: "My dog needs surgery. Can I make you a dress?"

"Every want is not a need"

I have a rich aunt and uncle who've managed their money well and traveled the world. My aunt even broke her leg on the Great Wall of China. When asked how they manage money they said, "Every want is not a need."

This same aunt and uncle would then fly to the Galapagos Islands to go snorkeling. I'm confused. Was that a want or a need? I needed those Shoefly shoes, I wanted to eat ...

"Put your nose to the grindstone"

My grandmother, widowed with four children, found herself forced back to work. After buckling down and making a fortune in real estate, she retired in her million-dollar home, drank cheap wine and clipped coupons. She was incredibly generous with her family but would take restaurant condiments. She retired and lived comfortably below her means. I wish she'd spent her retirement traveling with a companion, drinking vintage wine.

"Go big or bust"

I used to work graveyards at Canter's, a bakery and deli in Los Angeles open 24 hours. Sunset strip clubbers packed the place when the bars closed. Before their group Guns and Roses skyrocketed to fame, a broke Slash and Axl Rose used to sit at the counter milking a cup of coffee.

Marc Canter, the deli owner's son, was friends with Slash since fifth grade. Marc loaned them money to record their first demo which had the hit song "Welcome to the Jungle." His friends achieved stardom, and Marc eventually wrote a book called "Reckless Road," about their rise. Marc said they paid him back and then some.

"I loaned money to them not just because they were my friends, but because I believed in them," said Marc, who watched their sold out concerts from the front row. "Would they have made it without me? Probably. They had the talent. I just made it a little easier, helped them get started."

"Money can't buy happiness"

I once had Buddhist monks, who believe money is essential but causes suffering, tell me about my past life, present life and future life for $200.

In my past life they said I was a male, mountain-dwelling, turban-wearing hermit who didn't bathe much. They pointed out I was a highly evolved human being though - unlike this life.

In my next life I'm going to be a successful business man with lots of money, but that might not buy me love as Paul McCartney found out.

"Do what you love, the money will follow"

Author Marsha Sinetar wrote that finding your right livelihood is the ticket to financial freedom. That each of us will eventually express our burning desires and make a fortune, settling for jobs that are uninteresting, tedious and unrewarding will make us miserable. It worked for Guns and Roses, who preferred to die doing what they loved instead of settling.

Warren Buffet - The king of money

The third richest man in the world believes in investing and has $54 billion. He'd have more but he keeps giving it to charities. While in high school he made $174,000 by placing a pinball machine in a barber shop, taking the earnings and buying another until he had machines all over town. He started creatively investing people's money and struck gold. He doesn't measure success by money.

"When you get to my age, you'll measure your success in life by how many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you," he said. "That's the ultimate test of how you've lived your life."

He stated in 2006 that he will leave all his money to charities.

•••

So where is the happy medium between saving the economy and saving us? Marc Canter thinks you should have enough money to cover unexpected stresses that arise, but not have too much.

"That's when divorces, overdoses, and suicides happen, when there is too much money," he said.

I like the attitude of writer, poet and critic Dorothy Parker who left all her money to the Martin Luther King Jr. Foundation. "Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."

• Send Courtney Nelson your thoughts about money for the next column. She can be reached at nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net">nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net.

Marvel Us Music: New Alaska rap label and release spur tour

By Courtney Nelson | For the Juneau Empire

Hip-hop and rap performers Daniel Buitrago, known as Soiled Seed, and Josh Boots will perform Friday night at The Hangar on the Wharf. Opening for them at 8 p.m. is Sea Life with DJ Judo.

The show is part of a statewide tour inspired by Boots' and Buitrago's new enterprise, Marvel Us Music, a label that replaces their previous project, Arctic Flow Records. The show also celebrates the scheduled June release of Soiled Seed's first collection "Tree Top High." Boots wants the fans to be excited about their show, promising to give 110 percent.

"We definitely earn our money - it's not going to be a few minutes show, it's going to be a couple hours show," said Boots in a phone interview. The duo will stop in Sitka, Juneau, Girdwood, Homer, Kodiak, Kotzebue, Bethel, Fairbanks, Valdez and Anchorage.

"We're really excited about doing the Alaska tour," he said. "We've been to Sitka and Juneau before, but now I actually have my own CD to sell. I'm really excited to go to villages like Kotzubue and Bethel and the Island of Kodiak." The group will then tour down south from Wisconsin to the West Coast.

Buitrago wrote his first song when he was 13, but didn't start taking song-writing seriously until he was 20. He said he was influenced by Latin music such as salsa and merengue because of his Columbian heritage, and by gospel music because of his religious mother. He eventually found rap in the '90s, liking Woo Tang, early Outkast and Most Def. Now he also likes Lupe Fiasco, Nas, Notorious B.I.G., Dizzie, and Tupok for their lyrical style. After simmering for years, these influences emerged when he and Boots formed a group in 2000.

"Josh Boots and myself started a local group called 'Star Spangled Grammar' and we made a demo that ended up being an LP," he said. "The response from that was so good we just decided to keep it going," Buitrago said.

They started selling their CD's on the streets of Anchorage.

"We would be everywhere - UAA, the mall, hockey games, anywhere there were people, we would go sell them," he said. "People would start burning them and duplicating them for their friends and pretty soon it ended up in the hands of Jeremy, who called us up and said, 'Let's try and do something here.'"

It seemed natural to join forces.

"Jeremy, 'AKream,' was doing the same thing with his single and we decided to form a label and just basically put all our equipment together and make a name for ourselves, for all of us," he said. "That's how Arctic Flow Records was started."

The label had five releases and the rappers performed hundreds of shows but it ran its course. Now Boots, Buitrago and new partner Jason Zastrow are starting something new.

"We decided to split ways (with AKream) and he started doing his own thing with his company, and Josh Boots and myself started Marvel Us Music in 2010," said Buitrago. Akream will be releasing music through his new label, Ice Box Entertainment.

Buitrago likes the symbolism of Soiled Seed representing their fresh start.

"It means a new beginning, like a new seed that's planted that's going to begin to grow. I thought about where my music was headed and I thought since it was just the beginning I'd just go with that."

Buitrago also pointed out that a seed is grounded and rooted. "My head isn't in the clouds," he said.

When he isn't creating music, Buitrago teaches English to Spanish-speaking elementary students.

Josh Boots' third album, "Built to Last" will be released in October, and will be followed up with "Soul Matters" in May of 2011.

Boots said his new projects are more soulful because of a life changing experience.

"One of my sons just got diagnosed with cancer five months ago and that whole process kind of influenced the new music, which is more soulful and more reflective and mature than anything I've ever done," he said. His son has B cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Buitrago's favorite song on "Tree Top High" is "Blue Music," also influenced by challenging experiences.

"I had three friends of mine and a cousin die all last year, Buitrago said. "It's a sad song explaining my feelings about how I didn't leave on the right situation and you never know if the person might be gone the next day." Buitrago had a falling out with all three friends a month before they died.

"It is also thanking all the people that have helped me out in my life, my family, Josh and Jeremy - overall thanks and forgiveness you know."

Not all the songs are sad, Buitrago said

"The opening track called 'Whose Listening,' says, I'm here, this is what I got, I want you to listen to me because I'm doing this for a reason, I want people to hear my music and I want to influence people with the things I'm saying."

• courtney nelson can be reached at nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net">nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net.

'Friends' star Aniston's bathtub crafted in Haines

By Courtney Nelson | For the Juneau Empire

SeaOtter Woodworks in Haines was recently tapped by Hollywood.

Actress Jennifer Aniston's designer, working on the remodel of the star's Beverly Hills home, wanted to purchase a Japanese soaking bathtub for Aniston, famous for her role as Rachel on the show "Friends" and, more recently, her divorce from ex-husband Brad Pitt. The specialty tub, called an "ofuro," would smash the traditional his-and-her bathroom and create a spa room for her.

Only a few places currently make the tubs, so SeaOtter Woodworks owner Bill Finlay thinks the design team probably found his company in Alaska by doing a simple Internet search.

"We're one of only two builders that make these specialty Japanese style wooden bathtubs," said Finlay, who has shipped the tubs worldwide.

Ofuro tubs are handcrafted using a combination of ancient and modern woodworking techniques and are created from a rare and special hinoki wood that emits a healing lemon citrus scent.

"In Japan there is a lot of mysticism around the hinoki wood, that is certainly something that is talked about a lot because it's a beneficial wood to soak in," Finlay said.

The ofuro experience promises to turn bathing into an art, like Japanese tea.

"In Japan, hinoki is beloved for its healing qualities," he said. "They believe that when the bath steam is inhaled, the hinoki oil acts as a decongestant of the respiratory system, helps to cure asthma and is a tonic for the nervous and circulation systems."

The other use for hinoki wood is for building Buddhist and Shinto temples.

"The most remarkable thing people notice right away is the aroma," he said. "It has a citrus-type aroma and it holds up well in a wet environment which makes it a good wood for making a bathtub," said Finlay. "A lot of the wood we use for the tubs is from the Tongass National Forest - western red cedar and Alaska yellow cedar. We buy high-quality wood from a few small mills in Ketchikan, Craig, and Kake."

Aniston's tub was special.

"The size of it was custom, it wasn't just pulled off the shelf," said Finlay said.

The tub is featured in the March issue of Architectural Digest. Finlay has yet to get his hands on a copy of the magazine. He went to the library to look at it, but the April magazine was already on the shelf when he searched around Whitehorse.

Finlay hasn't heard from Aniston but said he followed up to make sure it had arrived.

"I got in touch with her assistant who said it had arrived and everybody thought it was beautiful and they were looking forward to installing it."

Finlay doesn't know if this is his first celebrity client because he sells to designers and architects who sometimes don't reveal the client.

"I don't know if the Queen of England has one, I'm just not sure," Finlay said.

Finlay, whose customers are mostly from outside Alaska, started making the tubs when the former owner of a salmon-smoking business was entertaining Japanese clients in his waterfront home in Juneau.

"Sometime in the mid '90s he asked me to build one for him and it was kind of an experiment. Then I noticed that people were starting to look for them, so over the last 15 years I have developed the product to fit that niche. It's a small niche, but it's there."

To see SeaOtter's custom tubs, visit www.japanese tubs.com.

• Courtney Nelson can be reached at nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net">nelsonfamily@acsalaska.net.

Snap out of it

Tips to stop cycle of violence against women

By Courtney Nelson | Straight Talk

Whether you live in a big city or small town, assault crimes happen. But Alaska has the distinction of being 2.6 times the national average.

Snap! This is ridiculous. We should be outraged and actively making changes to protect Alaska women and children. Gov. Sean Parnell has declared his intention to address this, and I want to throw in my two cents. Here are some personal safety tips I learned growing up in the concrete jungle of Los Angeles.

Attitude

There are several things researchers have discovered about assault crimes, one being that perpetrators are more likely to prey on victims that don't look they will fight back. So, women could deter a predator if they convey a message of confidence, and awareness with their body language. Head up, glancing around, confident stride, no eye contact. If a woman values her life and thinks it's worth fighting for, she will exude that energy in her general demeanor.

'Her' story

One way to find value in oneself is to learn about the history of women - the roots and genealogy. Pick up a few autobiographies and discover that women throughout history have been abused and have overcome unfathomable horrors emerging stronger and wiser in many cases. Women are fighters and survivors. My best friend and I used to work with children who had been abused. We taught dance classes at their shelter. Their favorite song to dance to was "Survivor" by Destiny's Child. I would go home humming the powerful lyrics and I'm sure those kids needed to have those lyrics echoing in their heads.

The snap

Once women have embraced themselves as worthy and found strength in history, it's time to find the inner "snap," expressed outwardly as the "Z-formation."

Take a firm stance, like Wonder Woman before she starts spinning, then place one hand over your head and snap your fingers. Make a Z by snapping at the Z corners down the front of your body. You can make the move more dramatic by saying something like, "oh no you didn't," or "take a step back now" For advanced attitude, also move your head from side to side. This body language is a visual boundary saying, do not pass the snap or there will be trouble.

No more Ms. Nice Guy

Women walk a fine line. They need to be tough and protective yet are expected to be polite and nice. My mom admired Ms. Kitty on "Gunsmoke" for balancing both. Refer to Dustin Hoffman in "Tootsie" for another example of fierce grit under an attractive demeanor. Being nice when all your alarms are ringing can get women into trouble, like the lady who helped the serial killer move a couch into his van in "Silence of the Lambs."

Empowerment

Growing up in Los Angeles, I took a self-defense course to help give me an edge in the dark empty parking lots and alleys I faced daily. When I showed up to the first IMPACT self defense class, there were about 20 other women, including a famous actress with a stalker.

As we went around the circle, each woman told her unique story of why they wanted to learn how to defend themselves. Rapes, molestation, verbal abuse, stalkers - the stories were sad and scary. The abuse was from relatives, strangers and neighbors alike.

I picked the IMPACT class because we were allowed to use full force against padded mock attackers. By re-enacting realistic scenarios, I learned how to verbally de-escalate an attacker, assert myself, and set boundaries.

When the attacker couldn't be reasoned with, we would fight while the rest of the class cheered on. They yelled, "eyes, eyes, eyes" as I jabbed my fingers into the attackers eyes, then I would knee them in the groin, kick them to the ground and start pounding their face with the heel of my foot. I actually lifted one of my instructors off the ground with a groin shot. The environment was physically safe and emotionally supportive, which helped us gain self-confidence and a sense of personal power. I wish every woman could take this class. (Take note, Gov. Parnell.)

Heal old wounds

A strange thing happened during the IMPACT course. As women learned to fight, many broke down sobbing as they reached a point where it was so real, they were brought back to the moment of the abuse and trauma. They tapped into a pattern and then broke it by reacting differently and fighting for their lives. By changing reactions, studies show people can actually re-program their brain, break a cycle and begin healing.

Snap out of it

The biggest help could come from the community making a collective "snap" and not put up with violence anymore. They should empower the women in their lives and fiercely protect them. Women and children are being assaulted in Alaska more than other place in the United States. They are mothers, daughters, sisters, girlfriends and wives. Men wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for women. If someone assaults or abuses a woman, they are hurting themselves and the community as a whole. Perpetrators, keep your hands to yourselves.

I'm aware that assaults happen sometimes regardless of tough demeanors and that men also are victims of abuse. This column is intended for the empowerment of women.

Snap out of it!